I fear for any intrepid Google surfer who has stumbled upon this site and actually managed to stomach some of the pages to navigate to this one - well done, you deserve a medal. If however, you are a forumite, you will probably be fluent in Derrenish and will use, much to the annoyance of you family (and in some cases friends), the following idiosyncrasies in everyday conversation. If you are not familiar with Derrenish here is a quick crash course for you.

Coops is Derren's personal assistant (or should I annoyingly say Nobacherie?) and currently has his own 'Coops is Cute' thread on the forum. Poor, poor Coops.
Coops is currently seeking legal advice over his contract: He says fan-girl attention was not stated and is seeking compensation for mental anguish.

This innocent and innocuous-looking word was slipped into the credits of Sťance as the title bestowed on Coops and is still the focus, frustration and discussion of the forum, as collectively the origin and/ or definition of the word is sort. Nobacherie has driven some forumites to the brink of insanity, induced paranoia and many have resorted to drink, but still no meaning has been obtained, although as a sick joke Derren included the false definition of "French for chimpanzee" in his 2005 tour programme. He will pay for this (allegedly).

Parma Violets
"Derren smells of Parma Violets." Yes, yes he does.
I am reliably informed that when an obsessed fan asked what Derren smelt of Lolly Pertwhistle replied "Purple is the colour of magic and the most purple smell I can think of is Parma Violets. Ergo magic, and therefore magicians, must smell of Parma Violets." And it stuck.

The blame for this rests with Go Go Yubari. Go Go was the creator of the Secret Diary thread whereby Derren negotiates countless obstacles on an unsuccessful quest to find plywood for a new set of book shelves. Ummmm... I don't think I can comment any further on this - you can decide which hallucinogens the forum regularly use.

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